


We Know the Game and We're Gonna Play It

by sarcasticsra



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: F/M, M/M, hints of Pepper Potts/Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-13
Updated: 2012-09-13
Packaged: 2017-11-14 03:27:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/510833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarcasticsra/pseuds/sarcasticsra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Steve is innocent, Bruce is sly (and kind of oblivious), and Tony might be losing his touch.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Know the Game and We're Gonna Play It

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Kat for the beta and the perfect title. :D

“Hey, Tony?” Steve called, walking inside the lab and interrupting a very important argument he and Bruce were having about the calculations in front of them.

Well, okay, strictly speaking, it was more like moderately important—they were working on pants for Bruce that would survive the other guy, technically nothing _explosive_ —but Tony had just made a comment that had succeeded in getting Bruce to do that thing where he took off his glasses, twisted them in his hands, and pursed his lips in a way that made Tony do the mental equivalent of grabby hands.

He was tempted to just actually physically do it at some point, because it wasn’t like Bruce would notice. Bruce took every flirty, suggestive comment he made with a fond look and a wry smile, deflection after deflection after deflection. It was exhausting. Everyone knew Tony Stark had no idea how to do _subtle_ , and still Bruce hadn’t gotten the hint.

Pepper kept telling him to just man up and kiss him already, but Tony was saving that as a last resort—the nuclear option, to make it into a terrible metaphor. He didn’t want to contemplate how Bruce might manage to deflect _that_ , too.

“Hey, Cap, no, don’t knock, it’s fine, nothing’s more fun than potentially surprising a couple of guys who could be working with dangerous equipment. Makes life interesting.”

Steve just gave him his patented, patient, _this is me humoring you_ smile that he’d suddenly gotten really good at. Not cool. Not cool at all. He used to be so much more fun before he’d figured that out. “Bruce told me what you were working on. I wouldn’t have interrupted otherwise,” he said. “I just had a question, since you’ve been having me listen to your iTunes library—”

“Are you through the As yet?”

“I’m in the Cs, actually,” Steve said smoothly, grinning just a little. This wasn’t fair. He used to be so much easier to tweak. Had someone been coaching him? Or was he just, Thor forbid, getting used to Tony? There was a terrifying thought. He’d need to step up his game if _that_ were the case. “Anyway, I took a break and went online, and I ended up clicking on this link—”

“Oh, I like where this is going,” Tony said, raising his eyebrows. Bruce, beside him, just shook his head, but Tony could tell he was amused. There was a distinctly amused _vibe_ that Bruce gave off when he was entertained but trying to hide it—you just had to know what to look for—and he was totally doing it right now.

“Not like that, Tony,” Steve said, giving him a look that barely even qualified as disapproving. Seriously, this was just terrible. He was losing his touch if he couldn’t even get _Steve_ to give him one of those properly disapproving _that just doesn’t seem very nice_ expressions of his. (Because that had, of course, been Steve’s problem with the porn he’d initially stumbled upon. “But none of the women even look _happy_ ,” he’d said, so earnest that Natasha had patted him on the head and muttered something in Russian that Tony was pretty sure translated to _how are you even real_.)

“Fine, fine, so you clicked on a mysterious link…?”

“Yeah, and it sent me to this YouTube video, it was for this song, something about never giving you up? Anyway, the title wasn’t on the video, it just said something like ‘rick’ or ‘roll’, and I was wondering if you had that song? I really liked it.”

Steve looked so sincere, so expectant, and it was possible that Tony actually physically recoiled in horror. 

Okay, more than possible. He totally did. “What? No. No. No. I—no. I refuse to—you’ve been listening to the greats, the fucking _classics_ , and—no, get out, now, your presence now offends me. I can’t even look at you—you—” He stopped, and took a deep breath, and oh, now he was _ready_ , now he was going to convince Steve that he’d just said the most wrong thing that had ever been wrong in the history of people being wrong near him—and, fuck, that was saying something, he’d once listened to _Justin Hammer_ —and he was going to do it even if it killed him. That was his new life mission, starting now.

But before he had the chance to open his mouth, Captain America suddenly burst into laughter, right in front of him.

“You should have let him keep going,” said Bruce, a sly little smile at the corner of his lips. “He was about to work himself into a _state_.”

“I know,” said Steve, still laughing. “I just couldn’t—you saw his expression.” He pulled something out of his pocket—a five-dollar bill, Tony noticed absently—and handed it to Bruce. “Here. You were right. I should’ve known better than to take that bet.”

Bruce smiled slightly and took the proffered money, sticking it in his pocket. He had just been—well. No wonder Bruce had been amused.

“I can’t _believe_ you’re corrupting Captain America,” he said, pointing at Bruce. “Teaching him to use his powers for evil. That is just—” It was kind of hot, actually, but he wasn’t going to say that particular thought out loud in front of Steve. Tony did, contrary to popular belief, have _some_ brain-to-mouth filter. It was just that he didn’t use it much.

“Just what, Tony?” Bruce asked, radiating amusement now, and, yeah, fuck. Grabby hands, definitely. “Please continue. I’m really interested in hearing more.”

Never mind. Forget the filter. Filters were for _losers_ when Bruce Banner had that expression on his face, eyes dancing, looking pleased and smug and just the right amount of _evil_. “Hot,” he said. “I was going to say it was _hot_.” 

He stepped forward, right into Bruce’s personal space, and kissed him hotly, messily, with tongue and everything, and groaned when Bruce’s initial surprise morphed into reciprocation, firmly kissing him back, even nipping lightly at his bottom lip. Somehow his hand wound up at the back of Bruce’s head, fingers threaded through those soft curls, and one of Bruce’s hands wandered, groping his ass, and he was pretty much completely okay with that, because Jesus Christ, someone had seriously taught Bruce Banner how to _kiss_.

When they finally broke apart, breathing heavily, they just kind of stared at each other for a moment, before Tony’s brain caught up to him and he remembered that Steve was still in the room. Well, fuck. Good thing he didn’t keep a journal. _Today I traumatized Captain America_. That would just be awful. 

Tony glanced at Steve, who had a faint blush on his cheeks, and was averting his eyes, but—actually not surprisingly, knowing Steve like he did, not that Tony would admit it—not in a bad way. It definitely seemed less _eww, two dudes are kissing in front of me, hide the children_ and more _awkward, two friends are making out in front of me, I should give them some privacy_ , anyway.

“I’ll, uh, leave you two alone,” Steve said, innocently, grinning a little at them—but just a bit too cheerfully, in Tony’s opinion. That was strange, and just slightly disconcerting.

Bruce seemed to pick up on it too, because he raised an eyebrow at Steve. Tony voiced the question for both of them: “I’m not falling for that aw-shucks apple-pie innocent act twice in a row, Cap. What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” he said, and the innocent look was completely gone now. Ladies and gentlemen, Steve Rogers was _smug_. “It’s just, Pepper owes me twenty bucks now. She didn’t think I could get you guys to finally kiss.” He grinned. “Have fun.”

He left without another word, smug grin still in place, and Tony and Bruce stared at each other. “Steve Rogers— _Captain America_ —just _trolled us_ ,” Tony said. “Is this real life?”

“Apparently,” Bruce agreed, that little spark of evil still dancing in his eyes.

“You know what this means,” he continued.

“War?” Bruce answered promptly, and Tony grinned, because awesome. Of course they were on the same page.

“Exactly,” he said, invading Bruce’s personal space again. He smirked his most wicked smirk. “But first, let me introduce you to _Reason to Keep a Couch in the Lab, number 88_.” 

“Please tell me you don’t have an actual _list_ ,” Bruce said, eyebrows lifting.

“Haters gonna hate,” Tony said, and kissed him again.


End file.
